The Frivolity of Words

As an English student and wannabe journalist, I quite like words. They can be crafted in such intricate ways to portray innumerous ideas, viewpoints and arguments. Words are amazingly flexible in this case. We can even, when the elasticity of words is still just too rigid; make up new words (such as innumerous) in an attempt to convey what we mean. However, what is best about ‘words’ is the context behind which they are used.

For example, two days ago I was sitting on a train heading to Chesterfield for a mystery shop. It was one of those old trains that probably will be scrapped in five years or so, but lucky for everyone on the coach, this meant hoards of graffiti on the backs of seats, the windows, etc…

Now, as I was saying, it is the context – the motive for writing – of words that fascinates me most. So, on the train, graffiti such as ‘Damo 08’ and ‘Vinnie 2009’ holds within them a certain context, a certain mood. Why did Damo and Vinnie decide to brand their names and date their artwork on their respective train journeys to Sheffield or Huddersfield? (And why did Vinnie’s poor parents settle on the name Vinnie?)

The sad irony of it, as I starred at the seat in front of me where the graffiti was lovingly etched, was that one poor sod had evidently not understood the art of graffiti: ‘Danny Whitfield’. Now Danny, I’m afraid merely putting your name in enormous block capitals over the entirety of the back seat may not be the smartest thing to do. As I’m sure everyone would agree, your first problem is that you haven’t dated it. Second, you need a cooler name – or at least something that combines the two – such a ‘D Whitey’ or ‘Dwight’. This is was I love about words, the fact that when ‘Danny Whitfield’ was being written down, the hand that wrote it probably thought he was the coolest kid in the carriage. Imagine being out-cooled by a guy called Vinnie…

Anyway I made it to Sheffield station and sat down on a bench to await my next train. Stood in front of me was my next blob (and I mean that sincerely) of amusement. I’ll be blunt – an enormous woman was stood about 5 yards away from me with an Innocent Smoothie strapped to her gob. The best thing – apart from the fact she’d just called her friend a moron for forgetting to answer her phone – was that, stretched across the base of her neck, was the word ‘Dave’.

Poor Dave I suppose. That branding ain’t going away. A tattoo with your partner’s name on it is like an invisible one-way leash. The tattooed now has to fight to keep the relationship, while the named can hold their other half up for ransom:

“If you don’t make me a cup of tea sharpish, I’m going to leave you. And then you’ll be embarrassed by that ridiculous piece of shit on your back, rather than vulgarly proud. So go on – mush!”

The actual shop in Chesterfield went swimmingly, mainly because I had my ipod and was on my bike, so practically shut off the outside world. The journey back offered a little amusement however, and again involved an overweight member of our society.

I boarded the train home behind such a large bloke, who took up most of the remaining pair of seats in the carriage, so that I stood in the doorway bit. Looking at him, he had some bagging tracksuit pants on and trainers with the word ‘AIRWALK’ on the side. To be honest he was dressed like an amateur athlete, and yet I know it had been a while since compulsory P.E lessons.

What amused me though was the ‘AIRWALK’ branding on the trainers. The big thinkers at the trainer company obviously wanted a brand that would capture the consumer, to make them think THIS trainer is so light that running is like walking on air. Now, if you can convince a 28-year-old whale to buy them, you’ve struck marketing gold.

The only other thing I saw was the word ‘NEDLES’ graffitied on the side of a tunnel. I don’t know if this was a name, or an advertisement for a tramp’s new entrepreneurial business idea, but it was spelt wrong all the same… Probably didn’t have enough paint for an extra ‘E’.