After a week of sitting around doing less than what those who live on the dole do all day; e.g. nothing, a double shop finally came around. Today, it was a trip to a place I’d already been, and a lovely new shop to get my teeth into.
The day started well. I woke at 10, got ready at 11, and finally got my arse out of the flat by 12noon. What a glorious day to be out! Intense heat and little wind do wonders for pollution levels on the roads, and I certainly got a mouthful of that notion as I biked up to Headingley to start my ‘journey’.
The trip eventually took me to place I had visited a few months ago. Back then - oh it seems like only yesterday - there were road signs warning people of overhead cables. Now, however, the signs were gone – hurray! – but the cables weren’t. So, if the signs aren’t there now then it surely was pointless them being there to begin with, as the ‘hazard’ is still there!
Well as my blood curdled with rage and fury I rode on by and completed my first supermarket visit of the day. I was in the middle of Chapel Allerton, a place not exactly reputable for low crime records, so I decided not to hang around for too long – after all my bike is worth around 40p – and scoot to the next shop.
By the time I got to Easterly Road (which is somewhere in Leeds but I haven’t really got a clue) I was roasting. I can imagine between shop visits I lost about 7 lbs in water alone. I had to peel the helmet from my scalp and pant into the store.
To be honest I was feeling a little sorry for myself: out in the middle of nowhere with a bike and ipod for company and very, very moist. Luckily, a young lad made me feel glad to be me (although I do feel old saying that). The young ‘un was stood next to me trying to get served for ‘an alcoholic beverage’ of which I shall not name - free advertising? No chance!
He was wearing huge shades and had a weasely little moustache that made him look like a fruit fly, although clearly he hoped it made him look rugged, weather-beaten and over-age. The man behind the till wasn’t and idiot, and wouldn’t serve him.
I was amazed by the boy’s annoyance at this, as though he thought the disguise of two satellite dishes and a coal smudge slapped to his face was bound to work! He moped out of the shop, and as I biked past him later on, saw him waking away with three other pre-pubescent toddlers, bless.
Well, that was my trip around northeast Leeds. I overheated, almost drowned in my own perspiration, saw the worst attempt ever at getting served, and found that road signs are as useless when there are there as when they aren’t. Lovely.
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