This trip is now finally beginning to have a physical effect on me. I’ve now bought three bottles of whisky, adding to a very heavy bag. It feels like I’m of on a Duke of Edinburgh expedition. My shoulders and back are killing me.
Some of this pain was my fault however. Two days ago I was wondering around Lerwick and decided to go to the library (rock on!). The map said it was up Banks Road. So, turning up the road without looking, I began an ascent that was ludicrously steep.
Unfortunately, I had already begun to climb the bloody North Face when I realised how steep it was. I couldn’t turn back, knackered, as others were also walking up it. To make matters worse, a woman with a pram was overtaking me. I have to say an old crone with a pram speeding past a young (maybe not fit or healthy) man in walking gear is fairly embarrassing on the side of the guy. Therefore, I turned on the pistons and power-walked past her, past everyone else, and reached the summit first.
Victory! I shall not be embarrassed today! These were my thoughts as I set off for the library from the top of the hill, when suddenly I realised I was limping. So focussed I had been to avoid embarrassment and respectfully reach the peak first, I was unaware that my left calf had strained beyond the pain barrier.
So, sat on a bench next to the library, I had to endure the pram woman stroll past me again as I nursed my leg.
The pain is still niggling me now. Plus I jarred my right knee getting off the Inverness to Ullapool bus, so now I’m pretty much a walking cripple.
Back to Stornoway. It’s fairly dull to be honest. I managed to waste most of my time waiting for the ferry by taking photos of seagulls and bins. They have palm trees in the park. The Artic Circle is more tropical than this place, why on earth do they have palm trees? Just plant some heather in the park, that’s suitable. (Oh yes, I know my sturdy foliage)
One good thing about Stornoway is the bed and breakfast facilities. The place I stayed in last night was fantastic! The people kind, the bed comfy, and the telly supplied DAVE! Buzzcocks is so much better when watched in the middle of nowhere.
Anyway I’m now sat on the ferry going back to ‘the mainland’, as the locals call it. Some nobhead girl behind me decided to unleash the wit earlier, when the captain on the tannoy system asked for our attention. She replied “Huh, no!” and her three comrades in comedy all laughed. I suppose the irony is, is that by saying ‘no’ she clearly showed that the Captain had got her attention. She’s listening to a pink ipod and eating a Yorkie bar at the moment… classy. However, I think the pink hoodie nails it!
Sat on m bed in a B&B in Inverness now. I’m going to have to have an early night, as some nobhead (this word is the clear epithet of the day) kid sat right next to my head when I was snoozing on the boat. He turned the volume on his Nintendo DS up to some foghorn level, and then started elbowing my head whenever Mario went round a particularly tough corner.
I woke up and just stared at him. Stared and stared until he cocked on and walked off. I wouldn’t have minded if he was a little kid on his own, but he was about 11 and his lard-arsed excuse of a father was sat next to him.
No whisky tonight, just water.
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